European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - June 19, 1994, Darmstadt, Hesse                                It l a Patti shows that this hardly knows Best by Mike littwin the Baltimore Sun Here a my memory of the Reagan administration. Nancy always wore red. And Ron ran the country As if each Day were another Chance to play the Lead in father knows Best. Well there a a new episode just out. This is the one in which Kitten played by Reagan daughter Patti Davis poses nude in Playboy. And father father figures they re never going to put him on mount Rushmore now. After All nobody Ever saw any of the Lincoln kids naked. But we can see Patti staring at us from the cover of Playboy naked from the Waist up a except for the Guys hands on her breasts. In a thinking As most of us might this would make maybe a Lovely Christmas card. If you look inside the Magazine i know a you Only get it for the article the Davis photo spread is everything you a imagine. Although As it turns out you done to have to imagine much. After a few feel Good shots of her As a Little girl with the family Davis moves quickly into the traditional Playboy boy toy Mode. And yes she is seen in the traditional Playboy altogether. To answer your question she looks thin and fit and most of All Happy she could do this one last Little favor for mom and dad. It could be the single most vicious thing in be Ever seen a child do to a Parent. For a Parent particularly one who happens to be a former president particularly a former president who also happens to have invented the term a family values Quot this has to be the ultimate humiliation. A emr. President i saw Patti the other Day. Wink.  yes it s pretty awful. But you have to admit there a some irony in the grated Reagan finding his daughter romping around in Playboy with the rest of the sybarite. What do you think Reagan would have said if it had been a Kennedy kid Why is she so angry its unhealthy. Maybe instead of working out with a personal Trainer for the last six years Davis should have been seeing a shrink. What she does no to need is lessons in vengeance. She a a Genius. I mean she could have just taken a knife and Cut her parents hearts out. But this is so much More Subtle not to mention painful. Face it if Given the Choice you a rather bring the Menendez Brothers into the world than Patti Davis. At least with the Menendez boys it would be Over quickly. Davis meantime has made her adult life a one person terrorist Campaign against her parents and everything they stand for maybe you remember some of her More suggestive assaults. At age 24, she underwent tubal ligation saying she  want to risk passing on her mothers Gene Pool. 1 done to think she meant Nancy a big head either. Eventually after Ron became president Davis would write two novels about a family that was Only slightly less dysfunctional than the borgias. Presumably she was writing about her own family. Now this. Now at 41, Davis is As naked As a Jaybird in a National Magazine. Why Jaybird Arentt All Birds equally naked and since we re on the topic of nudity miss july also astonishingly undressed says her a turn on Quot Are anyone who can Quot educate or inspire  now admit it you thought All these Centrefold types were shallow did no to you How did Davis think up this latest strategy i wonder if she planned it from the Day she started hitting the gym or if it came to her in a revelation or if she just happened to bump into one of the Hefner at a hot tub party. What we do know is that Davis apparently did no to do it for the Money. She says she gave it away to Peta people for the ethical treatment of animal which has Long been one of dads favorite charities. Its pretty dear Davis did it because even into her Middle years she does no to seem to have exactly resolved that Tricky Parent child relationship. Now in a no psychiatrist but in a going to guess that this hey dad look at me naked pose May suggest just the slightest hint of hostility. She a 41. Whatever her parents did to her she should have gotten past that stage by now. What you want to do is to take Patti by the hand and Tell her it s time to grow up. Or at least get  secret to nailing Roberts outdoor eating by Elaine v1ets St. Louis Post dispatch if you re a Guy who wondered How a Geek like Lyle Lovett got Julia Roberts i can explain. The answer was in an Esquire interview. Lyle told the writer a there Are Universal truths about  a ooh let me hear one a said the writer. A women like to cat outside a Lyle said. This is a Man who understands women. A a we not Only like to eat out we like to eat outside. As soon As the weather turns warm we sigh restlessly and look for a romantic outdoor cafe. Well Settle for six plastic tables on the sidewalk. Men done to have these feelings. They love air conditioning. They think air like Beer should be kept cold. No amount of reasoning can convince a Man to eat outside. Her lets sit outside. Its too Nice to be indoors. Him do we have to its too hot. Hen this is what real air feels like. You keep the place colder than a meat locker. Him i have to. You done to Wear a tie. Her you done to Wear pantyhose. Anyway i Hope not. Weve been cooped up All Winter. Why done to you want to sit outside him its full of bugs. Her so is that Baryon like so much. At least if i see the bugs outside i can pretend they Are passing through. Him what is it about eating outside her its romantic. Him breathing bus exhaust is romantic i could go on but its too painful. The Man understands he has failed to pass Aneth Ertest. He just does no to know what it is. Its not his fault. Many men Are comfortable in caves. Remember his apartment it was even done in Cave colors a Gray Brown and Black. When these men go out they find another Cave. Menus bars Are dark caverns. There Are even some neanderthals. Women like Light and Sun. We Are creatures of imagination. We imagine if we sit on a parking lot a under a Inzano umbrella we Are closer to nature. If the restaurant puts out six pots of Sun baked petunias we think its romantic. A Man can to imagine Why we like to do this. Only when he is desperately in love a or lust a will he eat outside. She thinks its because he is a romantic who likes to do the same things she does. He thinks he a impressing her with his daring. Its the same instinct that causes Small boys to hang from Trees so Little girls Wilt notice them. But a Guy does no to have to hang from the tree Branch forever. Once the girl is impressed he can let fio. So most men believe once they have done the daring deed and eaten outside that a enough. They be proved their love. They wont Ever have to do it again. Surely she wont make him spend the rest of his life eating outside trying to hold onto his plastic Glass and paper Napkin in a Gale Force wind besides eating outside makes him feel ridiculous. This last argument wont impress any woman. She wonders what a wrong. Does no the love her anymore she does no to get it. He does no to get it. Only Guys like Lyle Lovett get it which is Why Thev get Julia Roberts. Scripps Howard news service Page 20 sunday june 19, 1994