European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - August 18, 1991, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Roads amp ends 4vou can to run Home again in the race to do it All miss i we is Erma Bombeck Universal press Syndicate do i a have it All Quot yet i Hope so. In a half dead. We re Only two years into what 1 Call our Mauiu Zahn decade where women arc balancing Home husband children physical fitness social conscience not to mention a cello Between our Knees and if 1 become any More fulfilled in a going to have to sleep on fast Forward. It sounded so great when .1 heard there Wasny to anything As a woman 1  do. A a aha sounded so All encompassing. Now it has turned out to by the same a a ally As in one size fits All. All of what in a from a generation that remembers what it was like to be bored shallow depressed and unfulfilled. After we put our kids on the school bus we went Back to our kitchens drank Coffee and knitted until lunch. Then wed take a plate of cholesterol and Park ourselves in front of the television and watch As the world turns until 2 30. Wed watch Ralph Nader on Donahue so wed have something meaningful to talk about at dinner. We had an hour to whip through the House put two cookies on a plate and meet the school bus. I done to know How i got to be Robo wife but it probably started with the Peanut butter commercials that told me i was responsible for the Well being of my children and the laundry detergent manufacturers who dumped on me saying my husband would never make it in the corporate world unless his shirts were sparkling White. It was up to me. And if that did no to Pul me on guilt overload i began hearing about what a source of untapped Energy and Talent i was and that i should Volunteer it for the Community. I did that. Then someone suggested that i should be paid for All this expertise and get a Job. I did that. The Slick magazines came along and said a Why work for someone else you should be running the  running for Congress. Running for your health. Running for the bus. Running running running. In be been doing it Ever since. I Iron while i watch television shop for groceries at Midnight and if 1 have something to worry about i have to do it during my Good time period there a no quiet Lime for me anymore which is the Price i pay for a having it  i wondered the other Day if i could go Home again. Was it possible for just one Day to recapture the suburban slowdown of two decades ago i decided to try it. While i was having Coffee three Calls arrived from the East. 1 picked up a Rug i m  ing and was interrupted by hashes of guilt for things id have to do tomorrow if i did no to do them today. Donahue was interviewing transvestites who were their own prom dates. It Wasny to the same. By Judith Martin United feature Syndicate dear miss manners my husbands daughter is getting married and 1 want to do what is Best for All. I have told my stepdaughter that i will give her a bridal Shower for her fathers Side of the family. Am i supposed to invite her Mother and grandmother How should 1 dress for the wedding Day do i dress As though in a the Mother of the Bride should the color of my dress match the bridesmaids dresses do i Wear a Corsage where do i sit in Church what about when the parents Are called to the dance floor a is my husband expected to dance with his sex wife or do i is my husband also expected to have pictures taken with his sex wife Are my parents considered As grandparents my stepdaughter does not Call them grandma or grandpa my husband and his cd wife divorced on very unfriendly terms and he and i have been married for three years. Gentle Reader you certainly Are not expected to dance with your husbands sex wife. Miss manners is Happy to be Able to provide you with instant Relief from that worry. She can also get you off the Shower Hook so to speak if it is not too late. Showers Are not supposed to be Given by relatives of the guest of Honor. You arc her Stepmother and May give luncheon or reception in her Honor but not a Shower because the last is characterized by the giving of presents and one is not supposed to be greedy on behalf of a relative. As for the other activities a costuming the relatives deciding the dance order and posing for pictures a these arc not repeat not part of the proper wedding tradition. There is no Rule of etiquette mandating that mothers of the Bride and bridegroom match anyone even each other or that certain female relatives must be distinguished with corsages or that certain people must dance together or appear together in photographs. There is a Rule that everyone must be polite to everyone else no matter what the previous family activities were this May very Well mean pretending that they done to dislike one another but it does not extend to pretending that the original couple is still married. The lady accompanying the father of the Bride is his wife not his former wife. Dear miss manners i am an attorney and would like to know the polite Way to Deal with people who take it upon themselves to Tell me a a jokes that ridicule my profession. I am very proud of my profession and of the work i and others perform for society. My late father was an attorney and so is my brother. Often it is people who know these things who insist on telling me these  i know these people Are insensitive impolite and insecure. What is the proper Way to respond gentle Reader sue them. No please done to. Miss manners was joking. The fact is that there is no profession on Earth a even miss manners own sacred calling a that docs not bring on some tiresome joke including miss manners own tasteless pleasantry which she offers in the spirit of an example. Controlling the urge to utter the first Smarty remark that comes to mind upon hearing someone a occupation is an excellent Rule of conversation. Miss manners promises the would be wits that there is no such thing As a Job joke that the Jobholder Hasni to heard before a or finds funny. As for How to react miss manners rcom mends the weak smile Mouth closed lip Corners turned stiffly upward total absence of mirth in the eyes. Occupation jokes arc not As serious Tranger Cessions As race religion gender nationality jokes so they do not require the full fledged a treatment of indignation. On the other hand they need not be encouraged by the sort of faked merriment considered the polite reaction to jokes that Are Well meant but badly  the we a a of aug. 1929 co july 23-aug. 22 emotions swing from one extreme to another. Careful balancing act Over business keeps goal Clear. Sharp words return Home. Virgo aug. 23-sept. 22 friends lend needed support. Curl up with a Book or loved one and relax. Ability to study Fine print Intuit other s motive give advantage. A Libra sept 23-oct, 22 a psychological tactic leaves you confused and annoyed. Think solution through carefully. Today s rewards Are not so obvious but Are Long lasting. Scorpio oct. 23-nov. 21 Bills Are waiting and the workday beckons. Tie up Loose hanging particulars. Others keep you waiting so relax. Sagittarius nov. 22-dec, 20 you realize there Are times when everything walks our Way and times when maintaining seems impossible. Introspection improves mood. Capricorn dec. 21-Jan. 19 placing Domestic affairs in order takes precedence. Speak out if you know another is goofing off. Tact and diplomacy Are called for. Aquarius Jan. 20-feb. 18 Chance to improve relations with associate presents itself. Desires appear to be More attainable. Need is 1o curb strange fantasies. Pisces feb. 19-March 20 a mood of excitement greets the Day for. You. A compliment sets tone for entire Day. Progressive artistic thinking advances career. Aries March 21-april 19 you May have to slow Down More than usual to combat opponents on the Home front. Your education comes in Handy. Taurus april 20-May 20 More relaxed attitude toward finances develops. It dawns on you that some major projects take a Long time to Bear fruit. A gemini May 21-june 20 firm up plans concerning career change. Priorities need to be developed. You find yourself leaving Home without usual expectation of Success. Cancer june 21-july 22 prospects Over Money look Good. Tendency exists to grasp too soon before Deal is Cut. Patience and silence pay off with better offer. Copley news service Page 10 a sunday August 18,1991