European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - August 25, 1991, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Survive. The residents of Tor Cjon a Spain have been married 15 years. But it took work. When California raised Ken walked into a Madrid disco in 1972 and first saw Maria his Spanish vocabulary consisted of Buenos dins. A i turned to an american Friend of mine and pointed her out and said a she a going to be mine a says 37-year-old Ken an air Force Captain. �?o1 did no to speak her language so that was a bit presumptuous on my  he Learned How to ask for a dance in Spanish. But Maria said no three times Only consenting after a companion eager to meet kens Friend kicked her under the table. A i thought he was crazy a says Maria 36. A i was thinking a i done to want to meet an american  a after three months of spending time with. Maria and frantic studying he spoke Spanish fluently. He proposed. She said  of Mouth the Dilworth american born Freddie and dutch born Martine also use language to unclog difficulties arising from their Cross cultural and interracial marriage. The two Are Quick to react when they feel the target of a sidelong glance because Martine is White and Freddie is Black. A Freddie and i Are very open to what people have to say a 25-year-old Martine says. A we usually go up to the person and ask them about it in German. When you speak the same language people Are More  they would know. Freddie a native of Maine takes Pride in speaking German As smoothly As English. In addition to her fluent dutch and her Semi smooth German and French Martine Speaks such  that the rhythm of her accent emerges Only after several minutes of talking with her. The couple finds its relationship As multicultural As multilingual. Martine a who has lived in Holland France the United states and Germany a says she Seldom notices Freddie a different background. For Freddie the different color of Martinez a skin is As about As important As the color of her shirt. But sometimes when he meets someone new in Europe Freddie remembers not All Are As Colo Blind. A amps Ken George Martine and Freddie dil Wortlie face off. A a they la always ask me a arc you from Africa a a says the 25-Ycar-old Freddie a civilian who was stationed at Rhein main a Germany for four years. A a in la Tell them where in a from and  say a Ohhi.  a whereas couples like the Dilworth easily hurdle the language Barrier communication comes slower for some. Couples often find even when they speak the same language they done to speak the same language. For example where English speakers have one generic a you a Romance languages have one to show companionship and one to show respect. Using the Friendly form with an elder is As proper As showing up at a prom in a sweatshirt. At times Ackermann a six years of English classes and Mirijanian a one year of German collapse because of such Subtle language discrepancies. A it gets frustrating Quot Ackermann says. �?o1 go into myself and think. I try to give myself a break to find a better Way to fix the  Early in her German lessons Mirijanian once tried to ask for directions to the bathroom. Her German friends broke out laughing. �?o1 accidentally said a i done to want to repeat it a she says still embarrassed. Quot it was an  for cultural newcomers stepping on a few customs is inevitable. Just ask Michael Rorison who married his wife Kyong in Seoul South Korea 11 years ago. To make up for his obtrusive 6-foot Frame Blond hair and Blue eyes he Learned korean and some times wore a in Buk a traditional Oriental outfit for males. But even the most careful can slip. One Day while walking through Seoul Vermont raised Michael saw the streets filled with koreans walking with Rainbow banners and Golden lanterns. Naturally he snapped a photo. A i never realized what it was Quot Michael says. A normally you done to take a picture of a funeral procession.�?�. Such differences abound in Eastern cultures say the Orisons on one occasion korean children used to smooth Oriental skin ran up to Ken to touch the hair on his arms. Another time Kyong was shocked to find Michael in the Kitchen cooking and cleaning. A in Korea that a a housewife a Joh Quot she  marriage meet David and Susanne vines both 28, residents of grips him Germany. Their Story includes one year four Cross Atlantic flights an aids test and two marriages but no divorces. It was All in the name of paperwork. After marrying David in Kentucky two years ago us Saline had to return to her Hometown of Hamburg Germany to wait for her . Visa to arrive in the mail. The papers arrived nine months late even though she had submitted on time her German marriage forms and a required health exam continued on Page 6the broken hearts burned Bridges of the culture Gap two loves two failed relationships four children and one woman left alone in the aftermath. She is 30-year-old Niernberg native Gerlinde Stevenson an example of what sometimes happens when two cultures marry together but later fall apart. Stories like hers Are Seldom but each deepens into a matrimonial myth and heightens fears of marriage across the culture Gap. Stevenson had one child during her three year marriage with her former husband Mike Stevenson an american whom she divorced in 1982 and has not heard from in the past three years. She says she had three More during her five year relationship with a Boyfriend then an american Soldier until he vanished in february 1990. She says neither she the army nor the boy friends Mother knows where to find the 27-Ycar-old or his overdue child support. A we had three children together and i told him he has to grow up to be responsible for his family a Stevenson says. A if not i told him he had to leave because i could not have another  she says he chose the latter after several weeks not returning her Calls. Sometimes during the Day when she takes eare of her children aged Between 1 and 11, Stevenson says she receives Calls from to editors still seeking Money they Lent to her former Boyfriend. She says sometimes an Auto Salesman Calls seek ing payment for the ear the Boyfriend never paid for. The parents of Maria Mcclellan of Madrid Spain heard such stories and feared the worst when she was dating her future husband Ken an air Force Captain at Torrejon a. A a my Mother told him a done to come to my House anymore a Quot Maria says. A she did no to want to lose her baby. She did no to want me to go to  but Ken said that after he dispelled the a legends a Maria a parents came around. A there were stories of girls that had been left pregnant by opportunistic Young men a he says. A for about the next year i worked on forming a relationship with them so that they would realize that i was serious about becoming a member of the  before announcing their engagement Seattle raised Jack Wilbanks and his future wife Pinar saw each other in secret while the air Force sergeant was stationed in in Ciurlik Turkey. They hid from the turkish woman a relatives who had similar fears of americans. A we did no to want anyone to know because some americans had come Over Here and dated turkish girls and then left them a she said. A some turkish people Are negative about americans because of the bad example. But others know most of americans Are not the  although Stevenson a first marriage ended peacefully she holds a wary Eye to the United states. She might Start seeing men again but never another american. A i done to think All americans Are like him Quot she says but adds that the culture Gap can he too wide to see across. A my sex Boyfriend told me a lot of things about his past that were not True. I could not find out about it because i did not know about his life in  a Brent Stinski August 25 1991 sunday Page 5