European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - December 15, 1991, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Page 2131 of r guest the drawn out mental Battle of the draw Down Carol Bruning guest columnist with Breakneck Speed history has virtually dissolved the communist soviet threat. The persian Gulf War a glorious Victory is behind us. The renewed threat of rims returns to haunt each Soldier. Recently the army released a new separation pay Chart and recommendations for voluntary Early retirement benefits soldiers in the second oldest most secure profession in the world seek to Cope with an unexpected Lack of Security. Rumours of drops in retention Rales Send even the most emotionally stable Soldier out to compose a new resume and make discreet inquiries to corporate headhunters. The bailout rate of Young officers resigning their commissions for civilian managerial positions has jumped tremendously since the end of Stop loss. For those of us who elect to hang 011, we face the prospects of an Uncertain Brave new world. One single event confronts us All waiting for the list we anticipate the release of promotion Board results with a roller coaster of highs and lows. What a strange feeling to realize a group of unknown faces in a faraway place Are meeting to determine your destiny. Before the approach of the appointed meeting Date for the Board Many soldiers View the experience with casual disinterest. Typical comments a they i done to really care what  a my record is  "1 can always get an executive position in the civilian  to a great extent these comments arc True. They arc also a smokescreen hiding the insecurities the whole system magnifies within each of us. The Day the promotion Board begins to meet we confront its reality. We contemplate the a a Hows of the process. We mentally imagine those five senior soldiers around a table with Slacks of hard copy files. We picture them sorting through these records. We wonder How we fit into the scheme of things. How do i rate in comparison to others being reviewed am i better or worse How Many awards do i have will my past assignments be crucial to the outcome friends in the same year group also before the Board begin to Call with similar questions. This amplifies the anxiety of the situation. Even the most Well balanced Soldier with High self Cost com finds the process unsettling. Resignation and temporary acceptance sets in during the weeks and months following the Board meeting. Rumours and leaks of information Are few and the routine begins to return to Normal. This is Only a time of mental resting. Our emotions Are merely hibernating. As time for release of the list results nears the level of anxiety rises again. Four to six weeks before the anticipated release friends and acquaintances begin an unexpected assault. They renew their Calls. Rumours and inquiries from posts come from All Corners of the world. A who sat on the Board a a How do you think it All went a a what do you think the pick up percentage was a. A How did it compare with last year a each Call is a testing of the Waters. The unspoken question is Quot How do you think 1 Rale Quot it s easy to resent the seemingly arrogant speculations of those uninvolved in your Fate who comment a what Are you so concerned about you la make it a perhaps they wish you Well but it Only serves to fuel the fires of doubt. As annoying is the ignorance of our civilian friends and extended family. They Haven to a clue about the Workings of the system. They arc mystified by the angst we feel. Finally the night before the release Date arrives. You lie in bed and count your senior Rater profiles. You mentally picture the Board and imagine its reaction to your file. You count the top blocks and contemplate your chances. You admit to yourself you really do care. You say a prayer to the ultimate senior Rater in the sky a ooh god in be worked so hard. Let me make it a the results whether positive or negative Are Anticlimactic. The anticipation of the past year has unleashed questions we never believed possible. After All the stress of uncertainty we can finally get on with the business of life. We become philosophical through this experience. Some of us conclude the Board results acc not an omniscient much less realistic evaluation of your past performance or even future potential. Evaluations and promotions do not Mirror a soldiers value. Through All of this we each gain a measure of patience and self accept acc. We also gain new insight on our personal value systems. As the military draw Down progresses we can make certain conclusions about its future and the effect on our career choices. We arc searching for a place in this new military system. The key is to adapt quickly to these changes without discarding our distinctive sense of purpose. We do not lust for sitting in a Sand Box in some Remote Corner of the world. We do not desire to return to the cold War and the tension it carried. What we do want is answers to our ability to survive As we wait for the list. Carol Bruning lives in Karlsruhe Germany. Send in your column plus a photo of yourself to be our guest sunday Magazine the stars and stripes Apo 09211 or Postrach 11 14 37, d-6100 Darmstadt 11, Germany. Com 1 \ i s from the cover .4-6 Dave Bany s Christmas grab bag. Andy Rooney .7 resentment a i or Japan St \ books and language 8-9 americans sad role in Nicaragua. Odds amp ends. 10 Cindy Chambers dips into embarrassing parties. To plus. Ii Don a kick the Roek ettes. Sunday is a weekly supplement of the stars and stripes editor. Bucky Fox Art direction Sharon Kilday Tarrant production Kelly Quinn editorial assistance Marian Hamilton Louis Pierce television listings.12-14 local Cable and satellite schedules. On the air.15 William Kennedy Smith s trial on the screen. Home entertainment .16 Quot soap dish a a plateful of fun. Joe Bob briggs.17 letting to the corps of aggie hazing. This weeks films .18-19 Chuck cinch turn Down Quot shout. Quot Complete cafes circuit listings. Classified ads.20-23 last laugh. 24 Dave Barry s frigid yuletide Story. Janet Krezdorn opens an English speaking Bookstore in Frankfurt. Page 7. S4s Fdl mail a sunday december 15. 1991