European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - May 17, 1992, Darmstadt, Hesse Odds amp i in Smiss m a us Judith Martin dear miss manners my husband is about to retire. I made the mistake of telling him one morning when he left food garbage etc., All Over the Kitchen a you Messy Man clean up behind the result is that he now leaves things everywhere around the House and never takes care of clothing or anything he touches. How if possible do i Correct this terrible mistake he will soon be Home with me All Day. Gentle Reader you were rude or so miss manners gathers in spite of the cute phrasing and he is retaliating by being spiteful. We can to have the two of you spending All Day together like that can we miss manners recommends a quaint old custom called the apology. A functioning household apology is kindly said does not address the question of who was More at fault and is not an Opportunity to restate the original complaint. Thus a i have snapped at you but i can to stand your being such a pig and now you re being spiteful is not what miss manners has in mind. But a a in a sorry i was after you about being Messy gives him a Chance to reply a Well in a sorry i was at least two Days should pass Between this Exchange and an unrelated conversation that opens with a pleasant a Well dear now that you re going to be Home More perhaps we should talk about How to Divide up the household dear miss manners i was dining with a group of friends and family at a local restaurant and at the end of the meal my sister in Law made a snide comment about our waitress apparently thinking that the woman had left the room. In fact she was standing next to me and i know she heard. I was too stunned and embarrassed to say anything but now i wonder How i might have handled the situation. I know that it is impolite to Correct a companions manners in Public but could i have apologized to the waitress my sister in Law did not or said something in her defense gentle Reader miss manners notices a willingness Here to throw your sister in Law overboard. Was her remark so Nasty or is she habitually so unpleasant that the incident would have been almost As bad if it had been made Well out of earshot of its target even if so you could Best Salvage the feelings of the waitress a which miss manners agrees was the overwhelming consideration Here a by neither arguing nor apologizing. Both of these would confirm the intention that created the Hurt. Rather if you said a ooh Delia that a not funny a people might think you were serious a you might have created enough face saving doubt for both ladies to pretend that the insult had not occurred. Dear miss manners i done to look younger or older than my age a in a in my late 40s a but my hair is pure White. Apparently Many people can to see beyond the hair color when assessing my age. Whenever i go through a checkout line or buy a ticket for a movie in masked in a loud voice that implies in a deaf As Well whether i want my senior citizen discount. When the inquirer realizes no doubt from the expression on my face that she has embarrassed me by asking the question the usual response is a if i forget to ask senior citizens get that May be the Case but is insulting Middle aged citizens the Only Way to avoid offending seniors a local travel Agency displays a sign stating a sometimes its hard to Tell so please ask for your senior citizen granted this method is on the right track but since when is it necessary for anyone to be Able to a a Tell a persons age Isnit age weight religion etc., personal business a Friend suggested that a More tactful sign would state a you look Young for your age so please ask for your i find this a Tad patronizing. In a not seeking a polite Way of responding to the question because the question itself succeeds in dampening my Day. I Hope that you will offer a solution that avoids the question altogether. In be already suggested that these businesses should Post signs a senior citizens must ask for their the Universal response has been that my suggestion is not feasible. Gentle Reader miss manners does no to see Why not. Although she has a bit of a problem reconciling discounts for the elderly with the notion that age is none of anyone else a business she agrees that clerks should not be put in the position of guessing Peoples Ages like barkers guessing weight at a carnival. But what Pray Are you so offended about As you Point out it is Only the superficial observer who judges age by hair alone. How seriously do you want to be scrutinized by ticket Sellers besides one Day god willing you will be old and miss manners Hopes you will not consider it a tragedy. United feature Syndicate Taurus april 20-May 20 asking the right questions at the right time gets you the answers you seek. Gemini May 21-june 20 from where you re sitting life is Beautiful. Enjoy these moments of Contentment. Cancer june 21-july 22 in group discussions make rationality a priority. Things could get out of hand. Leo july 23-aug. 22 avoid upsetting your partners with unfounded accusations. Consider All sides of the Story. Virgo aug. 23-sept. 22. Reconsider your views about a relationship with a co worker. It has the potential for Success. Libra sept. 23-oct. 22 go Over your financial plans with your family before making a final commitment. Scorpio oct. 23-nov. 21 it s hard to take criticism but realize you can to know everything. Listen and learn. Sagittarius nov. 22-dec. 20 at work you la be tested to see How organized you Are. Clean out your desk. Capricorn dec. 21-Jan. 19 if you Are having second thoughts about a move it s Only Normal. Wait until you re comfortable. Aquarius Jan. 20-feb. 18 your family feels left out and complains about your aloofness. Make them understand your position. Pisces feb. 19-March 20 focus on clarity in everything you say. There is danger of much confusion. Aries March 21-april 19 in conversations this week you can pick up helpful tips on investments. Pay close attention. Copley news service Why done to people in this country speak English Cindy Chambers so you a rather shop at the ridiculously expensive Post Exchange than take your chances on the Economy. Those of us at the Institute of american language understand perfectly. We know that every time you go downtown foreigners speak to you in a foreign language. And that a scary the problem is that in the past you were taught the four phrases guaranteed to get you into trouble on the Economy a a hello a a no thank you a a a in a just looking and a i want to try this and you Learned to say these phrases so Well you were mistaken for a person who actually knew the language this can be dangerous a even fatal a As shown in the following example you entering local store a hello a shopkeeper a hello a then unintelligible a is no to this rain awful a you a no thank you in a just looking a shopkeeper confused a Well feel free to browse you a no thank you a spotting the perfect clothing item you haul out the fourth phrase a i want to try this on a shopkeeper a a in a sorry we done to have a dressing you a thank you a you take your clothes into a tiny room marked elevator Shaft. Do not enter in a foreign language shopkeeper a a done to a you a a a now thanks to the ugly american language course you can shop on the Economy in Complete safety free from Pesky locals who assume you understand them. With the ugly american language course you la learn such helpful phrases As a hello leave me alone a a they a in a paying you to drive a a bring us american food and plenty of canned Beer a and of course a does no to anyone Here speak English a you la also learn language tips utilized by generations of ugly americans including How to speak English really loudly How to become a terrorist target and How to make disparaging remarks anyone can understand. Order now. Operators Are standing by. And Best of All a they speak English. Cindy Chambers is a military family member in Schweinfurt it Ginniv if Tetra Wir Only 1,000 people worldwide 1. Asians a 584 people 2. Africans a 124 people 3. East and West europeans a 95 people 4. Latin americans a 84 people 5. Soviets a 55 people 6. North americans a 52 people 7. Australians and new sealanders a six people source the old Farmer s almanac Page 10 a sunday May 17, 1992
