European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - January 09, 1994, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Miss manners Judith Martin. Dear miss manners i have noticed a revolt ing behaviour trend among males of All Ages classes and races spitting on the sidewalks. I understand that in an earlier Era Public spit Toons were available but i am under the impression that they were used for chewing tobacco not phlegm. Where do men pick up this Gross habit what can Idoa Loutit i vent my anger by muttering disgusting under my breath but i resent that i must look Down As i walk to avoid stepping in spittle. Gentle Reader As thoroughly As miss manners agrees with your distaste for this behaviour she can not recommend that you make a citizen s arrest when it happens. These people Are indifferent to Public opinion polite people with medical problems carry handkerchiefs. .,.- / dear miss manners my female companion and i enjoy eating out but the portion she is served is always a bit More than she can consume. She knows full Well that i can finish any food that is left on her plate. What is the proper Way for her to share food with me gentle Reader what stage of courtship Are you in. Miss manners does t mean to be Nosy. On the contrary etiquette demurely looks the other Way when people in love enjoy offering or accepting a bite offered across the table on a Fork. Normally however extra food is put on the bread plate and passed to the person who wants to taste or finish it. Dear miss manners when referring to a future Day As the next i contend that it is the next upcoming Date for that Day. However my Girlfriend uses it to refer to that Day of the following week. For example if the Day is monday Jan. 1, and i say next tuesday does it mean Jan. 2 or Jan. 9? if i say next Friday does it mean Jan. 5 or 12? gentle Reader is this an Idle question or did one of you stand the other up and then develop this argument v miss manners suggests that the one who failed to appear offer an apology and that from now on the two of you arrange to meet not too far in Advance. Dear miss manners our daughter just graduated Magna cum laude from a prestigious univer sity but did t Send announcements. She Felt this was just asking for a gift. All the important people knew of her graduation including her relatives who live out of state. We were very proud of her and i was really disappointed that she received not one card or gift from a relative or godparent Only her one living grandpa rent and an 80-year-old Distant Uncle sent cards. I am sure that if she had written announcements she would have been remembered. We have always sent generous gifts to relatives on their graduation. Am i justified in feeling slighted or rather in feel ing that my daughter was slighted or did she make a Faux Pas gentle Reader everybody in this situation has made a Faux Pas. There Are Faux Pas plural any one All Over the floor. So miss manners will rate them starting with the one she likes Best or dislikes least. Your daughter is to be commended for her desire hot to seem greedy but she is nevertheless buying into the vulgar idea that announcing a Milestone is tantamount to sending out Bills for presents due. She seems not to have considered the fact that people who care about her would be glad to hear from her. Rather than ignoring her relatives altogether she should have told her news the graduation the honors her plans to everyone who has shown genuine interest in her.  she did t want to Send them formal announce ments letters would be even better. You say they already knew. Then their error was thinking that they needed an official announcement before reacting. Or perhaps they needed it As a re minder. They May be thoughtless or they May have thought she did t care enough about them to re mind them. Neither is a Nice attitude. Then we come to yours which miss manners is afraid you might notice she left to last and least. And you Are already sulking notice that you said there was not one response from a relative and then named two which is what she does t much. But miss manners is touched by the fact that this is a maternal sulk on behalf of your daughter your energies would be better employed in belatedly teaching your daughter that keeping in touch with relatives is not the same thing As demanding presents from them. There is still time to Send off those newsy letters. United feature Syndicate. Feeling incorrect address your etiquette questions in Black or Blue Black Ink on White writing paper to miss manners . Box 91428. Cleveland. Ohio 44101-3428. The Quill shortage prevents miss Man ners from answering questions except through this column. � 1994, cartoonists a writers Syndicate Collins London  Australia of dear i think we be just missed the Happy  la give you a push when the tree has grown a bit. Husbands have a deaf invite problem with women Erm Bombeck can always Tell when my husband is not listen ing to me. He either lifts up the phone and dials a number walks out of the room or gets in the car and drives away. I did t say he was Subtle. I am saying he s rather typical of most men who ask what kind of a Day did you have before they go into the bathroom with the newspaper. According to an article i just read it s a Guy thing. Men pretend to be listening to women but the reality is it s hard to get their attention and keep it. Men on the other hand Don t have this problem because they Are insiders in the business world of communication and know How to play the game. They know How to draw attention to themselves with their voice attitude and body language. They can judge moods understand the tensions be forceful and never wait their turn. Women have to seize the moment. The occasions Are rare. Price when my husband had a Back prob Lem and the doctor told him he needed traction at Home i attached two super Kem Torie cans filled with Cement to a Corset he was wearing. Then i dangled the cans Over the end of the bed and announced i m leaving  that got his attention before i added just  that s riot As bad As the woman who Waits until her husband is in bed and feeling amorous. Then in the intimacy of the darkness she whispers in his ear if Mike does t get braces he s going to look like a  As Long As the talking wife and the husband who turned a deaf ear to her conversations were in the Home people figured it was the Way things Are. But now that there s a double Standard in boardrooms and annual meetings it has become important. The other night i talked nonstop to my husband for 15 minutes about a conversation i had Over my charge account. He looked up and said Are we out of Mustard one of these Days i m going to say something important and hell miss it. Universal press Syndicate no kidding after death whereabouts unknown 1. Davy Crockett 2. Jim Bowie 3. Peter Minuit 4. Leslie Howard 5. . Scripps 6. Thomas Paine body stolen 10 years after his death world features Syndicate offensive acts in foreign countries 1. Denmark tipping cab Drivers 2. China giving expensive gifts 3. Japan addressing natives by first name 4. Korea opening gift in front of giver 5. Iran giving a Hearty backs Lap 6. Malaysia giving gift with left hand do s and taboos around the world 3rd edition Page 10 sunday january 9, 1994