European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - January 8, 1995, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Id the card that opens All doors a Sally Buchanan. Your most valuable Possession is a military id card. The phrase a a done to leave Home without it was actually coined by the id card office. Have you Ever closed a door behind you Only to remember just is the lock catches a my keys a Well an even sicker feeling is pulling into the commissary parking lot and remembering a my id card a i wonder if the Clinton have obtained their id cards yet. After All he is commander in chief. I also wonder if the president is required to Wear a uniform and sign in As a Active duty for preference in Quot line. A a a a a. A a. A a a a a a a a a a a a a. Hillary and Chelsea should have id cards too just in Case they decide to Stop by the pm. Not to mention they a never get past the admissions desk at Walter Reed army medical Center without this proof of dependent status. While my husband was stationed at fort Benning Gay a my Wallet was stolen with my id card inside it. I thought i would be executed before the army would give me another one. Upon signing in at the id card office i found the line was moving quickly that Day a Only a two hour wait. After a lengthy detailed explanation that my Wallet had been stolen and i needed a new id card the helpful clerk said a wok can i see your id card Quot when in a bored i like to go to the pm and pretend to look at items near the id counter. Its always entertaining to watch the clerk filter the entrants. One evening two women approached. The first sex Send in your column plus photo of yourself to be our guest sunday Magazine the stars and stripes Apo a 09211 or Postrach 11 14 37 0-64278 Darmstadt. Germany. If mailing disk save text in Asci and include printout. Columns Are edited for clarity and length. Barsotti Usa. Of planned that her sister was visiting from Oklahoma and planned to sign in As a guest. The okie flashed her Oklahoma Drivers License and a smile but the clerk Shook his head and asked for her passport. The lady explained with a certain Southern drawl that she had left her passport in her suitcase. But the clerk robotically droned a a May am i have to see a passport to be sure you Are not a Ger Man  a a in a not German. See live in Oklahoma a she said continuing to push her Drivers License in his. A face. A a a. A a a a a a a without so much As a glance at the License the clerk dryly stated a a May am anyone can get a Drivers License. I have to Sec a passport.�?�. A Well i can assure you that i did not Fly All the Way to Germany from Oklahoma just to go shopping at the pm a she huffed. After that episode i nearly died one Day when my. Husband Terry and i arrived at the pm with our three children Only to discover i did not have my id card. A Flashback of the previous episode came As my husband said a i guess ill have to sign you in As a  a. A a. _ he thought i was crazy when i insisted i had to have my passport with me. Then he had the pleasure of smirking a i told you so a when a different clerk actually let me in on my Drivers License i was so angry a not Only because my husband. Won the argument but also because that poor woman from Oklahoma missed the Llandro Sale. Sally Buchanan Yves in a Esau Germany. A bag it Paul Christ the major crisis facing the military Community today is not its involvement in various  fiascos around the world. It is not child or spousal abuse or sexual harassment. It is not even draw Down sorry Down sizing. The single most important Issue facing All military communities today is no double bagging in the  a How can we patrons of a the cheap food store Quot allow the bureaucrats to take away another one of. Our inalienable rights How dare they expect us to save the environment and the government Money a All at the expense of our personal convenience. A retired air Force colonel recently wrote in a letter to a weekly newsmagazine a the military Are taught from the very beginning to have a positive can do attitude.�?�. Why that old Geezer must have retired shortly after the Wright Brothers first flight because its obvious that a not happening today. My dear of papa taught me not to Bitch complain if Bitch is not politically Correct if i  offer a solution to the problem about which i was bitching. So after much thought hard concentration and eating lots of fish i came up with a solution. Be forewarned though my solution and All the intricacies involved might Only be managed by one who is trained in careful planning is thoughtful wants to see a More fiscal responsible military and has concern for the environment. The person having All these qualifications would have to be a general officer a and Only if he has an aide to do the shopping for him. My solution you the shopper take two single bags and put one inside the other. When you go shopping again you take this double bag Back with you and reuse it. I realize my solution takes a Little Effort. But americans get rid of your a attitude Quot and contribute to our society. Paul Christ jives at Span Dahlem a Germany. Contents from the cover. 4-9 convicts on the military payroll. _ a. Odds amp ends. 10 Erma Bombeck on crime in tune. 11 Tom Snyder returns to the big show. This weeks films. 12-13 Chuck Vinch on Quot dumb and dumber. A military circuit  listings. 14-17 local Cable and satellite  entertainment. 18 the Selling of videos. Voices 20-21 Andy Rooney Joe Dob Briggs Linda Ellerbee. Talk shows. 22-23 guests and Rolanda Watts. Words amp wit 24 Rob Kyff joins the language Loop. Books. 25 Quot magic Eye i. A. Sidelights. 26 Down to the letter. A on Parade. 27 the latest on Cher. A a last laugh. 28 Dave Barry slips in a new sport. _ sunday is a weekly supplement of the stars and stripes editor Bucky Fox cover Story design Alice Verbeina production Bernard Jensen editorial assistance Louis d. Pierce Page 2 sunday january 8. 1995