European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - March 31, 1991, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Be our guest Cary Jardine guest columnist a y husband and i thoroughly enjoyed a three year tour in Ger Many but like Many others we were a Little intimidated by the language Barrier. So we jumped at the Chance for an assignment in England with the army a personnel Exchange program where we would be assigned to a British unit and live in British quarters. Not Only would we have the Opportunity to. Really experience a foreign culture As i boasted to chagrined friends of their Way to foreign and exotic places where they speak equally foreign and exotic languages but wed be Able to speak the native language famous last words. Winston Churchill who knew what he was talking about is reputed to have said a America and great Britain arc two countries divided by a common  let me put it another Way after nearly two years of living and working among the British we consider ourselves to be bilingual. A v i can to go into some of the More embarrassing incidents that led me to the conclusion that americans done to speak English if you done to be Liec me see How you do on this Little English quiz that i think should be required of anyone applying for a passport to visit the United kingdom. A 7 a a 1. Clottie dumpling is a. A popular British country and Western Singer. It a. B. Something scottish people cat.2. A sign at a Highway rest Stop reads a football coaches not  this Means a. Tom Landry and Vince Lombardi would not be Welcome. B. Large buses full of Rowdy sports fans would not be Welcome. 3. Necks and titties arc a. Something scottish people cat. B. Part of a Peculiar meal that includes disgusting parts of sheep cooked in even More disgusting parts of sheep. A. C. Plain old turnips and . All of the above. V 4. Bobo bobs and Wombles Are. A. Something you would find at a . Cartoon characters c. Something scottish people cat. 5. Aubergine and Courgette Are a. A famous French  act. B. Girls names currently popular in re. Mote parts of . Names used for common household vegetables just to confuse visitors to the . Who Quot know them As a a eggplant and a Zucchini a �?�6. A door to door vegetable Salesman offers you a 3-Pound bag of potatoes. This bag of potatoes is Likely to a a a a. Cost three pounds. A. / a a a. A b. Weigh three pounds a c. Grow sprouts before you Are Able to figure it out. 7. A Colly wobbles is. A. The feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when seated at a formal British dinner you arc confronted with 17 pieces of silverware and five different glasses and you done to have a clue what to do with any of them b. The name of the prime ministers cat. Answers 1. A 2. A 3. A 4. A 5. A 6 a a and or a 7. A. Honest the whole family is benefiting from this unique cultural experience. Our two children attend a British school and conversations with our 6-year-old now go something like this me so How was school today him Jolly Good mum absolutely Brill. Me a. And what did you have for lunch him beetroot bean rounders and Jelly As Well really scrum Niy. Right. And where does it say in airy a guide to living in the United kingdom that a Mere few months of British education would Render my son incapable of holding an intelligent conversation with his Mother \. When you live in a place like Germany you know you done to speak the language and Only on rare occasions do you pretend to usually with disastrous results. When you ask in your Best Gateway Deutsch a two 1st Dor Baumhof a you know you arc going to be rewarded with a Well meaning but completely unintelligible to you string of  so in England where we speak the same language right i la when you confidently ask a Brit a where is the train station a this is what. You arc Likely to hear a Well ducks go past the off License to the roundabout and turn Straightaway by that Bloke standing on the verge and then onto the dual carriageway where that articulated lorry is overtaking the mini. A. Its enough to give you the Coll wobbles. Cay Jardine is a family member living at Calorick Garrison in North Yorkshire England. Feedback do you have enough time for recreation and what do you do with that time Petty officer 1st class Willie Davis on Rife frigate Pharris i read watch movies exercise and play cards when in a not standing watches or on work details aboard the ship. Petty officer 1st class Frank Wallath naval station Rota Spain i work Days and Midnight shifts so it is a Little hard to fit it in but i play softball do some weightlifting and go to the Beach. Sgt. Brian Perry 6th my co., Munster Germany there is some time for recreation but not much. Says he spends it playing Pool and pingpong and using facilities at the military Cavern spec. Robert Gay 159th medical co., Griesheim Germany now we done to have time because we re helping our sister units coming Back from the Gulfi Ensign Robert Randall naval station Rota Spain i work nine Days in a Row and then have 71 hours off. I travel whenever i get a Chance. Compiled by stars and stripes staff March 31, 1991. Sunday a Page 3