European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - December 27, 1992, Darmstadt, Hesse Sunday a Sli irs ind stripes a i i ii us a fit pm her 27, i h 2 i a Tkv ii �1992 Tribune Media services inc. All rights reserved editor s note in our continuing commitment to bad taste we once again offer Miami Herald columnist Dave Barry s weird recollections of the year just ending. Please Send All comments directly to the author. 1 in tie Avite House George Bush during a High level discussion of possible . Responses to a strike by Cork harvesters in Portugal glances out the Oval office window and notices that the darned . Economy is still in trouble. He vows to write a Stern note to his economic advisers Wayne and Garth just As soon As he gets Back from the upcoming meeting of the six or seven top world leaders club at which they Are expected to agree after two years of negotiations on a secret handshake. Meanwhile. Bill Clinton a a virtual unknown on the National scene despite the fact that he has been governor of Arkansas since he was 1? a arrives in new Hampshire with a truck containing 957 separate eight Point policies a 55-gallon drum of nasal decongestant and enough hair Spray to immobilize the brazilian rain Forest. 2 True item the Middle East is hit by its heaviest snowstorm in four decades. 3 in an unprecedented broadcasting development an entire hour passes during which there is not one single commercial featuring Michael Jordan. The acc vows to investigate. 4 in Jerusalem 47 arabs and 38 israelis Are injured in the regions worst snowball fight in four decades. 5 True item a Torida state appeals court rules that Broward county sheriff Nick Navarro has to Stop an operation under which sheriff department personnel manufactured crack cocaine then sold it to the citizens then arrested these citizens for buying it because of course drugs Are bad and need to be eliminated. 6 medical researchers at John Hopkins announce that a five year study of cholesterol has revealed that the letters in a Chol Estrol can be rearranged to spell a shooter Bacon futures soar. 7 the troubled airline Industry announces that it will raise fares. In politics new York gov. Mario Cuomo Calls a press conference to announce that just in Case anybody forgot he has definitely ruled himself out of the presidential race. In a staggering economic blow to californians largest Industry the food and drug administration Calls Lor a moratorium on breast implants. 8 president Bush flies to Japan accompanied by 237 High level aides 322 leading . Business executives 517 journalists 856 Security personnel the first lady 26 grandchildren and both White House dogs. Left behind tragically is the Black briefcase containing the presidential pesto Bis Mol. 9 Virginia gov. Douglas Wilder pulls out of the presidential race sending Shock tremors through the estimated 15 people who knew he was Kong much on Page 4
