European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - December 27, 1992, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Last laugh predictions for 1993 a forecast of future events for the  in Europe during the coming Yea by Charles Kaufman Etc Jont twef5 n  try few tin. I Quot Goa on in 1993. President Bill Clinton will show his support of Gays in the military by naming a Gay general to head the joint chiefs of staff. In 1993. The army will discover that the Only people who actually found work through the Acap army career and alumni program Job search program Are the bureaucrats hired to run it. In 1993. In an Effort to reduce costs and Man Euver damage even further next fall s reformer will consist of two soldiers with squirt guns playing hide and seek in the Black Forest. In 1993. The military will change the name of the military Telephone system from Quot Dan Quot defense switching network to Quot a Huncl Quot always Busy hang up amp use a civilian line. In 1993. The United nations will agree to Send merchandising Aid support to Russia in order to teach the former commies about a Market Economy and the profits to be made in a capitalistic system. As its part of the . Mandate the . Military will establish a network of cafes pcs in Moscow which will unfortunately prove to the russians that a government operated monopoly of retail stores does indeed work. In 1993. Soldiers will Stop searching their bus when army scientists discover that when starch and the fabric in bus come together a chemical reaction occurs causing impotence in male wearers. In 1993. Usa eur will come up with even More ridiculous categories for the army communities of excellence Competition including Quot Best trimmed Lawn in front of the Headquarters building Quot Quot least misspelled words on government signs Quot Quot Slimmest group of dependent wives Quot and Quot what was the stupidest thing your Community wasted the Money on that it won in last year s Ace Competition Quot. In 1993. You will finally realize that when people talk about cola going up and Down that they Are referring to a Cost of living allowance not the Way a carbonated soft drink affects your digestion system. \ goo a in 1993 a a High level army air Force nato conference will be held to determine the Correct pronunciations of Quot Safe Quot and Quot Usa eur Quot. In 1993. In order to raise More Money for mar programs the army will turn the Grafe Woehr training ground into a Disney like theme Park but with military weapons. It will be called Quot tanks r us Quot. In 1993. The stars amp stripes Quot readers action line Quot Section will actually contain one letter where the officials answer is Shorter than the question. In 1993. Military researchers will determine that continual exposure to the commercials Quot on an to causes brain damage. As a Public service an to will _ produce a new really obnoxious commercial and run it ten times an hour just to notify its military viewers of these important new findings. In 1993. All the characters in the jul bbl comic strip except quibble will come out of the military closet and admit they Are homosexuals. Quibble will re enlist. In 1993., because of the reduction in forces in Europe you will not be Here next year to read his Page. Page 24 a sunday december 21. 1992