European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - December 27, 1992, Darmstadt, Hesse Page 4 Dave saws i i a review from the cover running. Elvis Marks his 55th birthday with an appearance on Lurry King live. 10 in Tokyo president Bush scores an economic coup As the japanese government under intense pressure to open its doors to . Imports agrees to Purchase a 1992 Chevrolet Caprice. At a formal dinner hosted by the prime minister the president formalizes the agreement by performing the ceremonial Ralph of Friendship. 16 one year after the outbreak of the Gulf War Defeated and crestfallen dictator Saddam Hussein Marks the occasion by attending the invitational kurd shoot. 18 the supreme court votes 6-5 to strike Down a Federal Law requiring audits of supreme court voting procedures. 20 the japanese governments Caprice develops transmission trouble. 22 the new Hampshire primary Campaign is thrown into an uproar when the major news Media having vowed to focus on the issues give extensive coverage to allegations by Gennifer Flowers in a supermarket tabloid that Over a 12-Ycar period she and Bill Clinton repeatedly met in secret to discuss his program for National health insurance. 24 an estimated 750 journalists attend an emotional press conference at which Gennifer Flowers plays a tape recording of a Man whom she identifies As Bill Clinton revealing intimate details of his position on Federal Alfalfa subsidies. 26 in the most surprising super bowl finish in the games 27-year history the Washington redskins and the Buffalo Bills agree to Stop playing in the third Quarter so they can watch Bill and Hillary Clinton discuss their marriage on 60 1 in sports heavyweight rocket scientist Mike Tyson Kos himself. 2 in what has become a groundhog Day tradition Pennsylvania a famous furry Critter a Punxsutawney Phil emerges from hibernation and appears on Larry King live. The troubled airline Industry announces that fares will henceforth be based on a Complex formula involving the outcomes of collegiate hockey games. Bert Parks leaves to my that big Beauty pageant in the sky. 4 True item an archaeological expedition guided by photographs taken from space locates a lost City buried under the desert of Southern Oman. 7 president Bush responding to allegations that his use of the potent sleeping Pill Halcyon has caused him to act erratically angrily tells reporters that they Are a big methodist 8 the lost City in Southern Oman is identified As Toledo Ohio which apparently has been missing since 1987, but nobody noticed until now. 10 commemorating the 500th anniversary of col Umbus voyage authentic reproductions of the sailing ships Nina Pinta and Santa Maria set out for the new world. Alex Haley returns to his roots. 11 in new Hampshire Bill Clinton a character comes under further scrutiny when the news Media obtain a 1969 photograph showing him reporting for a draft physical wearing a dress. Immediately a new Surprise front runner emerges in the form of a former . Senator and suspected pod person Paul e. Tsongas who informs the press via an interpreter that in order for the Economy to recover a everybody must swim Mario Cuomo begins a 27-City bus tour of the Granite state to remind voters that he is not running. 12 the Nina Pinta and Santa Maria sail off the Edge of the Earth. 17 in Milwaukee Jeffrey Dahmer is sentenced to life in prison with no refrigerator privileges. 19 a historic Accord is achieved in troubled Lebanon when representatives of All 19 warring factions meet to agree on a system of color coded uniforms so everybody will know whom to shoot at. Elsewhere abroad the beleaguered cuban government announces a plan to ration Gravity. 20 appearing on Larry King live h. Ross Perot announces that if his supporters put him on the ballot in All 50 states he will have them All investigated. In Lebanon the opening session of the color coded uniform conference erupts in gunfire following a dispute Over which faction gets to Wear Teal. 21 in Winter olympics action Abc elects to simply broadcast videotapes of the luge and bobsled events from 1976, since nobody can Tell the difference. 25 the . Postal service bored with trying to deliver the actual mail announces a plan to spend millions of taxpayer dollars deciding which face to put on the Elvis stamp. 28 in Washington the supreme court in a landmark 9-8 decision rules that if you pass a go a you done to have to collect the $200. 27 Mario Cuomo Calls a press conference to announce that he a withdrawing his face from consideration for the Elvis stamp. 28 the troubled airline Industry enters the Betty Ford 1 Pat Buchanan wins the austrian primary. 2 Saddam Hussein appears on Larry King live. 3 business and academic professionals around the world Are gripped by panic following dire warnings from numerous experts that tens of thousands of computers could be infected with the Michelangelo virus set to strike on March 6. 4 a grim president Bush places . Armed forces on full red Alert in preparation for the expected onslaught of the Michelangelo virus. 5 highways leading from metropolitan areas Are hopelessly jammed by millions of fear crazed motorists fleeing from the oncoming Michelangelo virus. 6 As predicted the Michelangelo virus erupts wreaking havoc on an estimated one computer belonging to Rose Deegler of Rochester n.y., whose Christmas card list is nearly wiped out. Vice president Quayle jets in to oversee the Relief Effort. 8 Michelangelo appears on Larry King live. 9 True item led by the surgeon general . Doctors Call on . Reynolds to dump the a old Joe Quot cartoon Camel As a Symbol for Camel cigarettes on the grounds that it has great Appeal to children 10 Jerry Brown wins the Disneyland primary. 11 in new York the trial of accused mafia Kingpin John Gotti is recessed while the judge considers a defense motion to declare a mistrial because a the air seems to be running a Little Low inside the 55-gallon drum where we Are keeping your Honor a 12 True item Tammy Faye Bakker announces she is seeking a divorce saying that waiting for her convicted evangelist troll husband Jim to get out of jail is a too hard on the physical 13 controversy flares anew Over professional escalating salaries when the Chicago cubs sign a five year $43 million contract with Catcher Tom daily who died in 1939. 14 in a heartwarming display of concern for the health of the Young . Reynolds announces that it will dump a old Joe a and that camels will henceforth be represented by a old Kermit the 17 a Ray of Sunshine penetrates the gloomy National mood As americans Delight to a hilarious new nightly to comedy congressperson explain Why they were not responsible for Over drawing their own personal checking accounts As Many As 700 times in one year featuring a Parade of elected officials maintaining straight faces while offering excuses that make the act of balancing a Check Book appear far More Complex than a space shuttle launch. 18 convicted tax Felon and hotel Queen Leona Helmsley is sentenced to prison. Concerned about the pacing of its games the National football league decides to eliminate the instant replay after a study shows that seven games from the 1991 season Are still going on. 19 the sergeant at arms of the House of representatives who had been responsible for the House Bank resigns to accept a key position in the savings and loan Industry. 20 hotel Queen Leona Helmsley escapes from prison by climbing out a third floor window and shinning Down what police describe As a a very Large strand of 22 new York City police suspect that escaped hotel Queen Leona Helmsley could be at Large in Manhattan following an incident in which a woman wearing a Mink ski mask burst into a Midtown Beauty Salon and forced an employee to pedicure her at gunpoint. True Mem Manuel Noriega is arrested at a Miami department store and charged with snipping 27 buttons off of 10 women a jackets. 25 in a major intelligence coup the . Government learns that it might not need to have 300,000 troops defending West Germany from East Ger to v a Ause Are now the same coun a by. Officials begin planning a lightning military h Aue a Jno told mean that by 1995�there wij1 Fror itself troops defending Germany 29 Paul Tsongas drops out of the democratic race and immediately surges ahead in the polls. Thenry of m a her county ala., responding to pressure from concerned parents votes to ban David of the High school curriculum on the grounds that it a contains 30 Bill Clinton wooing the Weenie vote says he tried marijuana but was unable to inhale. Sale be of the lambs is the big Winner in an pm no pm i Are ceremonies which culminate in Prmt a Quot moment when Best actor Anthony Hopkins Breaks Down on stage and Ralphs up what is later identified As a segment of Best actress Jodie a sunday december 27, 1992
